Our daughter’s once a year dance recital is coming up and I asked my mother who is a devout Catholic to come to it since it meant a lot to my daughter. She said she cannot come because she had an adoration/prayer gathering with her fellow parishioners that same night I understand that everyone has different levels of faith and commitment, but how does one differentiate the line between working for your salvation and missing out on important moments of your own life that could mean a lot to you or other people? Is there such a thing as obsession to your religious devotion that you are ignoring the gifts that God is trying to give you?
Tough question! Life is often a matter of discernment—prayerfully seeking what God is calling to you do at each moment, especially when hard choices have to be made. Normally, the situation described is the other way around; we continually say “no” to prayer and devotion in favor of a lot of “moments” in our lives and the lives of family and friends. We often feel or say we are “too busy” to pray more or to go to some faith event and so on. And yet on the other hand, as you describe, we do have a duty to family, and we cannot take that lightly. So what is one to do?
I believe this: God is non-competitive. In other words, giving to God does not mean taking away from family. In fact, the opposite is true. Giving to God is giving to family. We need holy and prayerful parents and grandparents. What greater gift to children is there than the gift of faith and of prayer? Yet at the same time, when one truly loves and serves one’s family, they are following their God-given vocation and doing the Lord’s will.
Avoid the thinking that we need a balance between God and the rest of our life. That is making God competitive and is a lose-lose situation. Do not differentiate “between working for your salvation and missing out on important moments of your own life that could mean a lot to you or other people” as you said. It is the same thing when done correctly. Everything we do should be done with God and for God, including everything we do for our families. That is a win-win situation!
So how do we apply that to your particular situation? I can’t really do so without more details. Sorry. We absolutely do need to take time for dedicated prayer to God. Prayer time rather than taking away from one’s family actually gives one so much more. At the same time, being with one’s family and serving them and loving them, such as going to a dance recital, doesn’t take anything away from God or our salvation. On the contrary, for most of you, that is your vocation—what God is calling you to do! Yes, hard choices need to be made, but it should not be a matter of God vs. family or religious devotion vs. life. The choice should simply be about how to best love and serve God and neighbor. That is a matter of prayerfully living out your vocation.
-Fr. Greg
